Posts tagged ‘Dom’

Small Update

I mailed my Dad’s Father’s Day card, which included my letter to him asking him to adopt me back, today.

Now I’m nervous, but it probably won’t even get to him for like a week or two. I’m contemplating asking him to let me know when it arrives before he opens it. I wanted tracking, but it was an extra £5, so I couldn’t afford it.

In other news:

  • I’ve had 3 of 6 counselling sessions with an adoption-trained counsellor. This is to meet the requirement for adoption-specific counselling to ask for my adoption file to be unsealed and given to me. I still have to come up with a good reason to want it. Any suggestions welcome.
  • I had an interview at a coffee shop near my house. I hear back about it on Monday. I also have another interview on the 6th. As nice as the coffee shop people were, I hope I get the one I interview for on the 6th. It pays better, and it’s office-based.
  • Which is especially good, because we had our financial low the other day. We ran out of food/money and had to visit the food bank. The people were nice, thankfully, and now we have some food. Yay.
  • I may, or may not, have my first breastfeeding counsellor client. I’m very happy I’ve had an enquiry, even if it doesn’t pan out. If it doesn’t pan out, that means she got the help she needs without me, and I’ll be glad for that.
  • I think that’s it.
  • Oh, yes, my mother finally responded to my asking if she’d ever want to visit me. She said she would, so, woot. Hopefully by next year (I’d love to have her visit over the Paschal Triduum) we’ll actually be living in a place that can host visitors.
  • Dom might be pregnant. He refuses to have any hope, but I can’t help but be cautiously optimistic. He’s gonna go to the crisis pregnancy centre for a test in a couple weeks if nothing changes.
  • That’s really it, I think, lol.



The Case of the Missing Dominic, With Cate, P.I., Investigating

Well. Not so much investigation as offering conjecture.

So. Dom has been “missing” for 17 hours as of 9:35AM this morning. Even though we’re 2,000+ miles apart, I know something is wrong. What that something is, is the mystery. As we always do, we were talking on AIM yesterday. We talk constantly, and I mean that pretty much literally. Basically the only time we aren’t talking either through e-mail or instant messaging is when we’re sleeping. He went quiet on AIM, which sometimes happens, and then he went offline. I thought for sure either he’d just gone to do something, moved somewhere different, or maybe the internet had a glitch. But he never came back.

I e-mailed, in case it was AIM being a pain, which it likes to do. I still have yet to hear back. After an hour or two, I checked the forum that he’s a member of to see if he’d posted anything. Nothing since half past four, which is when he disappeared from here. I checked that because I’m adopted (and abused), so I tend to think that it’s something I’ve done. With no visible internet activity anywhere, my other paranoid side comes out.

I staved off that paranoid side of me by attempting to come up with other alternatives… I’d also hoped that maybe Dom had just fallen to sleep early. It could happen. It was after 9PM his time. It’s not very likely, but stuff like that has happened before. However, I know I would’ve seen him on by now. So the chances that that’s what happened are slipping even more by the minute.

Now I think something else has gone wrong. It’s highly unusual for him to be gone for so long, and the internet has never crashed for this long, either. His parents are old(er), and his Dad works away from home (lives in a different city during the week), so I’m really worried about that. What if something happened to his Dad? What if his Mom fell and had to go to hospital or something else happened? I’m so worried something happened to his parents. Or maybe even his brother, now that I’m thinking about it properly. All kinds of things could have gone wrong.


The last time he disappeared from the internet, it was because he was ill and had to go to hospital himself. But I’d known he was ill, and we were talking about him not feeling well. In addition to that, he must’ve asked his Mom to say something to me, because she used his IM to tell me they were taking him to hospital. So I would think that, were it something to do with him, his family would have contacted me in some way.

I’m also worried that, if something has happened, I wouldn’t be able to get to England to be there for him. If one of his parents died, God forbid, I wouldn’t be able to go to the funeral or be there to help him out. I can’t describe how torn apart I would be if that happened. I needed my best friend with me when my aMom died and I had to go to the funeral. Luckily for me, though, I could drive the six or so hours to go get her and bring her back. It’s not quite that easy for me to get across the Atlantic. If I had a credit card, I could use that, but I don’t, so I’d be stuck here. I can’t even contemplate that scenario, everything about it is too horrible for thought.

I keep hoping that maybe it’s just the internet gone wrong and that nothing bad has happened. I really want to call. I was going to call at noon if I still hadn’t heard from him, but now I think I might do it sooner. I hope nothing’s wrong. I really miss him. I miss him anyways, but being able to talk in some form helps a little, at least. I want him to come back now, safe, with everyone in our family safe.

*ETA:* Called the home phone and found out that the home phone line is down (calls are being routed to my father-in-law’s mobile). *BIG SIGH OF RELIEF*

A Little Bit of Slash, A Little Bit of AIM… (Pt 1)

Dom and I are one of those couples, the kind that met on the internet. It’s not such a strange, sleazy thing anymore, though, thankfully – heck, even my amom met her boyfriend through eharmony – but I do still feel weird saying it when people ask that inevitable question.

And our story goes even further off the beaten track. We didn’t meet on an internet chatroom or even through a forum, though we were both members of the same forum. No, we met because Dom wrote angsty slash fanfic in a fandom we were both in, and I enjoyed his fics. One in particular I loved so much that I overcame my reluctance to talk to strangers and IM’ed him one fine day in late 2006 to talk about the story. That initial conversation introduced me to a person I was intensely curious about. I didn’t want to stop talking to him.

At first, we only talked via IM for a few hours every day. I’d search my mind for things to say or talk about every time the conversation started to draw to a close, desperate to keep it going. I couldn’t get enough. Eventually, we both liked talking to each other a lot and neither of us wanted to let go, so I put AIM on my work’s computer and talked to him every chance I got there, too.

After a couple years of friendship, we both wanted to meet up. Going to England has always been a dream of mine, and it worked out well that he’s British. After I’d moved out of my fDad’s house in February 2008, I was able to save up money. By September, I had my passport, and we were talking about when the best time for me to come. Since he had another American friend over for Christmas the last year, he wanted to do that again. He got permission from his family, and I booked my tickets. I was going to spend two weeks over the holidays in England, definitely a dream come true.

I’d been wanting to move to be closer to my own and only same-state friend for months, and I decided the perfect time to finally do so would be when I left for England. I quit my job, packed up my apartment, ready to move everything when I came back, and headed to the airport on December 18th. Unfortunately for me, the North was in the middle of snow storms. Flights were cancelled and delayed, and I spent the night in a tiny airport because of that.

Luckily I was able to fly out the next day. Someone didn’t show up for their flight, and I took their seat. I was on my way, finally. I don’t remember the flight. I’ve flown transatlantic too many times now, and they’ve all sort of bled together. But I do remember how incredibly happy I was (and am every single time) to see that English countryside. It’s so amazing. England is the best place on Earth.

Immigration was, as usual, scary, but I made it through quickly. I answered all their dumb questions about who I was seeing and why. When I made it through, I called Dom, and he and his Dad were on their way to pick me up. I wandered around the front area for a while, looking at all the trains and the people and listening to the accents and smiling at the “bobbies” and the iconic red post columns. Definitely a dream come true.

Finally, Dom arrived. Despite my paranoid worries, I recognised him immediately, though we’d never met in person, and we shared an excited it’s-nice-to-meet-you-finally hug. (Then I got to stare at his blue/green eyes for the entire journey home.) Greetings and introductions done, Dom and his Dad took some of my luggage and led me to the car park so we could go home.

Hello world!

I can’t be bothered to change the default title of the first post. I am that lazy, yes, and uncreative. But, to be fair, I have my excuses, this time. I sent Dom off to England today. We won’t see each other for seven months, missing our first wedding anniversary together, among other things. I’m hoping I’ll be able to save up enough money to fly out to see him over Spring Break in April, but neither of us are holding our breaths.

I really miss home.  Last night, I could barely keep myself from crying because I miss practically everything about it. I miss the chippy, I miss the graveyard, I miss the church, I miss the shops and the town, I miss the trains, the Underground, the accents, the food, the smells, the climate – everything. I was always told by fdad that I needed a climate with a very narrow range, because I’m really only comfortable at like 76F, and England pretty much fits that bill. It does get cooler in winter, of course, but I’d rather have cold, especially with the prospect of snow, than hot, and most of the year England is just my temperature.

I was supposed to be going home with Dom today, and that thought was the only thing getting me through these last few months. Now I don’t have that. I have to convince myself to somehow be okay with being here and alone for the next seven months, not three months, but seven. I still don’t know what will help me carry myself through this. I miss home so much, and I really just want some stability. My life has rarely been stable. France is still on board, though, so that just might be what helps me through. With any luck, Dom will be six months pregnant by the time I get home. If that’s the case, that’s quite obviously what I’ll be working towards. I’d do anything for any child of mine, biological or not, and I have to be responsible, more so if there’s a baby depending on me (and ze’s mother/father/etc).

I know, I know, I should probably back up. No one knows the story of me and my (sometimes unfortunately) unique little family. Have no worries, all will become clear. For this blog, to stave off my loneliness and pass time, I plan to go back and do posts concerning my history, my relationship with Dom, and most things in between. I hope to be posting every day until I’ve covered the past, and after that, we’ll just see how well I can keep it up. It is one of my New Year’s Resolutions to keep up a blog/journal/diary, so I’m going to give it my best shot.

Welcome to my blog! I hope you stick around, and I hope I get to know some of you out there in BlogLand.