The little adoptees have been on my mind a lot lately. Mostly because there are a lot of them. All the ones I notice are transracial/transnational. Off the top of my head, I know of nine eleven twelve little adoptees. Nine Eleven Twelve. I knew not ONE other adopted person when I was young, besides my also-adopted brother. Of those nine eleven twelve little adoptees, at least seven nine ten are trans-national adoptees – from China, Korea, Ethiopia, and Vietnam. The other two I’m not sure about. Adoption definitely seems like a more trendy thing to do. I wonder how many intra-race adoptees I’m missing simply because it’s not glaringly obvious they’re adopted…

Fortunately for me, there hasn’t been too much said about adoption within my hearing. I once heard a conversation in the parent room: “We adopted her.” “Oh, where from?” “China.” The person asking sounded happy. Like adoption is a happy thing. Another time, an adoptoraptor and a friend of hers were talking. Turns out the adoptoraptor’s friend has a brother who recently adopted an older child from Russia, who, according to them, “isn’t adjusting well”. Well no shit, Sherlock. I gave them a disgusted look – by that point I’m sure I looked like I was about to be furious and/or violently ill and purposefully left the area – just barely managing to not storm away – until they freaking finally left. I wanted to punch something. I was so angry.

I don’t know how to act around these little adoptees. I so wish I had known a (de-fogged) adult adoptee when I was a kid. For them, I am that de-fogged adult adoptee. But I’m at a loss as to what to do, if anything. I’ve only outed myself to one of the kids, though I did prominently display my Adoptee Rights Coalition t-shirt today. None of the kids (or their APs) said anything about it, but it was seen. I felt so lonely as an adoptee when I was a kid. It still feels lonely a lot of the time, but now I have others I can turn to, ones who are my age or younger or older. I hate that they have to go through this, too. I hate that there’s another generation of adoptees. It literally makes me physically ill to think about it.

And I just don’t know what I can do about it, to make it easier for them. For the little adoptees I know now, I plan on leaving a copy of The Primal Wound in the parent room. On my last day, a day when five of the adoptees are there, I’m going to wear my “Adoption – Yeah, it pretty much sucks” shirt. Anything to help get the message out there that they don’t have to feel happy or grateful for adoption, that there are others who feel differently, and it’s okay for them to feel that way, too, if they do. I didn’t know that when I was young. I wish I had.

In short, I want to help/support them in some way, but I don’t know how or if I should.

I hate adoption.

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