Dear Mom,

Why did you make me? I hate this. I’m all alone. You didn’t want me, no matter what you say. You gave me away, it’s obvious you didn’t really want me. I hate you so much, but I can’t help loving you. Why did you do this? Why didn’t you just have an abortion? It was 1987, you could have had one. Non-existence would be far better than this. I hate you. You left me alone. Why didn’t you get rid of me properly? Why did you do this? I don’t want this anymore. Why did you have me, only to leave me behind?

I’m sorry. I wish I could be good for you. I wish I could make you want me.Why don’t you want me? I’ll do anything, I promise. Please come back. Please make this all go away. I love you. I hate you. I don’t want to be alone anymore, but I always am. You left me, and it never goes away. I’m so alone. You still don’t want me. You’re gone, and I’ll always be left wanting you.

I hate you.

I love you.

Please come back. Please love me. I’m sorry.

Love always,

Your thrown-away daughter

“Don’t want to reach for me, do you?
I mean nothing to you.
The little things give you away.
And now there will be no mistaking, the levees are breaking.
All you’ve ever wanted was someone to truly look up to you.
And six feet under water, I do.”